Today's Track : Pearl Jam - Even Flow

Tattered and frayed loose ends…
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Birthday-palooza is probably the best way to describe the next two months. I believe I’ve counted a total of 10 birthdays for an average of 1.25 birthdays per week. My birthday will be the last of the bunch and by that time people will be as annoyed to celebrate my birthday as I usually am.

I’m still apologizing for last year’s bday spectacle. Sorry Mel for passing out on your boobs. Though in my defense they looked like two soft pillows by that time of the night. Sorry to everyone for cutting the night short by being carried out of the club by the bouncers at 1am. Sorry Sonia for hitting on you while I was drunk (though apparently you were impressed enough with my drunken stance to be beside me today). Sorry to Tom for opening the car door while it was moving to puke. Sorry to the city of Toronto for leaving half-digested, barely chewed, tequila smelling pieces of sashimi on road. Sorry to Tom again for refusing to get out of the car when we got back to my place and sorry you had to carry me up that huge flight of stairs. You’re deceptively strong for a little man.
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I recently got a 12% raise at work so now I’ve gone from Nike sweatshop wages to squeegee kid wages. Don’t be fooled by the rocks that I’ve got, I’m still Shaky from the block.
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Sonia and I will be having our first Valentines together next week and as exciting as that sounds. I’m not too thrilled. I think somewhere along the lines people have mistaken romance for capitalism. Initially I tried to book a massage for two and they tried to sell me a special Valentines “package”. This package included a massage, a hotel room, dinner, champagne, chocolate covered strawberries and flowers for the low price of $979.00. So I’ve opted to go with a package of my own. It’s called the cheap/Marxism package. To protest these capitalist hallmark holidays we’ve decided to make dinner and stay in. I wonder if communists celebrate Valentines Day. America if you’re reading this. I’m not really a communist, I have no weapons of mass destruction and you don’t need to bomb my family to get to me. I will surrender peacefully.